Beltane to Memorial Day Countdown: Some Rules are Made to Be Broken

While it certainly helps to abide by certain self-imposed rules during your thrifting escapades, sometimes a thrifter needs to know when to break those rules. Case in point? This totally awesome black lace leotard I thrifted a while back from the Salvation Army on a particularly fruitful day of Salvation Army shopping. Though Laurie and I have long operated under the confines of "no crotches," I find myself occasionally breaking this rule for a rad swimsuit or leotard or even a shiny blue spandex full body suit.




This piece arrived in my life at the height of American Apparel's pushing of all things lace, particulary in the bodysuit/leotard territory. As the store's trends tend to, like Urban Outfitters, mimic thrifted style, I wasn't surprised to find this number for a mere dollar or two. Not only did it cost a fraction of what AA would charge for it, but it has everything you could ask for in a lace body suit—snapped bottom (for easy bathroom usage, a must for full body pieces), french cut to keep things interesting (even with the highest waisted of pants, it is apparent this "tank" is more than just a tank), and of course, black lace, the sexiest of all laces.

While I suppose this is technically not a "tank top" per say, I think we can bend (possibly even break?) the rules of this countdown as well. Because, truthfully, the only way I can really see myself wearing this in public is under a pair of bottoms which then transforms a full leotard into, ta-da!, a tank top!

BELTANE to MEMORIAL DAY countdown: On Biodiversity, Fashion, & Thrifting

Sometimes, cataloging our thrifting finds reminds me of (one of the most amazing places in New York City) the Hall of Biodiversity at the Museum of Natural History. The Hall of Biodiversity is a massive hall adorned with thousands upon thousands of animal specimens, from the tiniest insect, to the most massive whales. Generally, the experience of being confronted by the scale of the infinite variation of life on Planet Earth and the genius of evolution is awe-inspiring and ego squashing. Much the same, a solid day of thrift-store scavenging and a handful of finds that you could have never conjured with you wildest imagination can elicit feelings of smallness and wonder.

My #5 TOP TANK TOP is such a find, a symphonic assemblage of intuitive details, that only the genius of evolution could design:


Like the nervous system of a jelly fish, it is a delicate, simple, but perfect thing.

Firstly, the color; a pale peach. These "nude" tones are all the rage, although I will declare that I have long been a proponent of such shades, long before they were trendy. In fact, I started wearing this top LAST summer. So there. But I digress.

Next, the fantastic silhouette. It's a tank, as designated by the straps, but the body is like a fitted vest, complete with princess seams and pointed hem detail. Take a vest body and turn it in to a tank? Genius!


Then there are the lovely looped button holes and close-set buttons. It reminds me of Victorian garment details--overwrought and painstaking--in the best kind of way.


Last but not least, tightly, finely shirred back side panels, and if that weren't enough, adjustable button straps. I tempt Nature to design something so perfect.

Beltane to Memorial Day Countdown: The Magic of a Bag Sale

It occurs to me as we get deeper into this countdown that the tanks I have reserved for the end may not be the most flashy of my tanks, nor are they the ones which look the most impressive. Indeed, these tanks are some of my most loved, and therefore are now the most worn, stained, ripped, etc. Please take my word that these pieces were once pristine, even by thrifting standards.

That said, I present you with a piece that didn't immediately wow me. In fact, if it wasn't for a bag sale up near Spooner, WI that Laurie and I accidentally stumbled upon (resulting in a incidence where we may or may not have made a small child wait at a closed zoo while we were ravenously stuffing whatever we could into a bag for $2), I probably wouldn't have picked it up. At Laurie's urging, however, I did, and boy am I glad I listened.




For what was probably about 10¢, I came away with an excellent casual tank that has been a staple in my wardrobe since—the ribbed, button-down red cotton tank.

Now cotton tanks are a dime a dozen and most don't age well—think pilling, stains, fading. But for this piece, age has done it well, as it has settled into a perfectly worn comfort zone. Even the red hasn't faded into a color that resembles a pair of period panties—while it is surely not as radiant as it once was, it still provides a perfect amount of pop to any outfit. With the subtle ribbing (alternating lines of thick and thin, which puts it above the typical ribbed tank of this material) and buttons, it perfects that 90's tank look but not in a dated way. A perfect example of why bag sales are so bomb, this tank proves that given a good enough sale, you can walk away with treasures you don't even recognize until you begin to incorporate them into your wardrobe. And that, my friends, is why bag sales are so magical!

BELTANE to MEMORIAL DAY countdown: Trompe Le'oeil Tank

The only double showing on a countdown in Operation Sparkle's brief but storied history, my #6 TOP TANK TOP, that once rocked us all the way to Christmas 2010, is going to play tricks on our eyes in the summertime.


It is going to be tough not to repeat myself with this one, but it is surely worth it. Still, six months later, this remains one the most amazing prints I have ever seen. It truly produces a trompe le'oeil effect, appearing to be 3D, as much as any printed textile I've ever seen. I ask you, how many tromp le'oeil tops do YOU have, huh? And it's from the Limited! Can you ever imagine finding this at a Limited store? I can't even figure what era it's from. It seems pretty early 90's, but I shopped at the Limited in the early 90's, and they sure didn't have this kind of stuff there. They had oversized V-neck sweaters and broomstick skirts. Or maybe the Limited store in the Green Bay mall got all the boring stuff, because Green Bay is boring. This is very possible.


I fully owe this find to Cortney Heimerl, who first found this top while thrifting together, and handed off to me after seeing "the look on (my) face" when she held it up. It is always good to be giving while thrifting, and to hand off things to someone who it is more suitable for. If you do, you're more likely to be on the receiving end. And we all want to be on the receiving end, at least every now and then.

Beltane to Memorial Day Countdown: More Flowy Florals

In my book, there is really nothing better than a simple flowy tank with a cute pattern. It goes with almost everything, can be layered for even wintertime wear and is light enough to throw on over your bikini for a day at the beach. In other words, a perfect go-to kind of top.

As I previously mentioned, I scored some great tanks last spring in one trip to ARC Value Village—the Lux floral and lace camisole, the Jonathan Martin button-down print tank, and now this, the flowy floral boxy tank.




This tan and navy floral print number is one of my favorite pieces in my wardrobe. The color palette can be paired with a lot of pieces, while the subtleness of the tones mean that you can either go for contrast (say pairing it with a bright ensemble) or cohesion (by wearing other neutral colors). The floral pattern is interesting without being obnoxious (there is certainly something to be said for 90's floral patterns that don't resemble something off of a Lisa Frank folder), and again, subtle enough to add complexity to an outfit without overtaking it. Plus, even though the colors and pattern are understated, there is the WTF element in that it features tan roses (say what?!).

Beyond the tone and print of this tank, I love it for its fit—loose and flowy, the boxy shape fits perfectly and is actually flattering. One of the biggest bonuses of this top? No arm pit pinching! This is such an issue with so many tanks, I am surprised that it hasn't come up sooner in our countdown. But then again, for me, if a top pinches the pits in the dressing room, it doesn't leave the store. It also doesn't hurt that one of the more ridiculous 90's brands, Rampage, is responsible for its existence.

BELTANE to MEMORIAL DAY countdown: Paying $3 for Catherine Malandrino Might Make You Self Righteous

One of the greatest joys of thrifting is to know that, no matter how or why you do it, you are most certainly always beating the system. You are personally telling The Man that he has no power over you, and that you cannot, and will not, be bought and sold. Except on those rare occasions when a tractor beam pulls you in to a Forever 29 and you buy some trendy sweat shop piece of shit that you are not allowed to return once lucidity is regained, and you have to shower to get the guilt off. But aside from those times, beating the system, and nailing those deals to the wall, supplies you with a high that keeps you coming back for more.

The only time the high of nailing a deal gets higher, is when you nail a designer deal. And that brings me to my #7 TOP TANK TOP, this Catherine Malandrino fine-gauge crocheted tank:



Oooohhhh aaaahhhh it's just so PRETTY. You can see in the detail shot below, the knit has this fantastic texture and tiny fancy knit stitch. The crochet-ball trim on the straps and tie is divine, and you can't really tell in the picture, but it has a criss-cross back. All that fashion--real, bonafide, European fashion--for THREE DOLLARS. $3.


And let the gloating begin! This is when you kick back and think, what SUCKERS people are. I mean, are they just dumb? or lazy? or are they dumb AND lazy? Because, shit, whoever paid $250 for this is some kind of sucker. If they weren't so dumb and lazy, they would be smart like me, and thrift it, and pay $3, and tell all of their friends to make them jealous.

Any idiot can pay full price for designer clothes at a department store, but it takes a genius to get the same thing for 98% off.

Beltane to Memorial Day Countdown: Better Than a Pillow Case

It appears as though my shaming of mother earth last weekend worked because we have been having 70 degree temps and gorgeous, sunny days! What better way to show my appreciation for this blessing than with my most hippiest of tanks: The Mother Earth Tank.


(front)

(back)

(detail)

I just picked up this baby in Chicago (more amazing finds from that trip to come!) and was thisclose to not being able to get it, as the rather bitchy sales lady didn't see the tag right away and, without even saying anything to me, discarded it as they are apparently very strict about the "no tag, no sale" policy at Family Thrift. Luckily, I was paying attention and caught this, thus saving the day.

It is my belief that everyone should have at least one piece in their wardrobe they can refer to as a "mother earth" piece. I've looked for quite sometime for mine and I am pleased that we have finally found each other. The lace detail and embroidery is fantastic, I love the button-down back, and it is made of this great soft cottony linen that will breath in the summertime. While I do fear it will make me look a bit preggers, as these tiered baby-doll cut tops always do, I think that when I am feeling particularly womanly, I'll be fine with rocking it.

At any rate, it is far cuter than the mother earth tops of my boss Kitty's college days in Lawrence Kansas, when the hippie chicks would make their tops by quilting shit onto pillow cases and tying them to their bodies with string (open backs of course). While I can totally get down with some Birkenstock action and following The Dead, when it comes to DIY open back tanks, no thanks.

BELTANE to MEMORIAL DAY countdown: Baby's First Espirit

My #8 TOP TANK TOP is a nod to Operation Sparkle's #8 thrifting tip: do not discount categories/departments that don't "fit" you. Like, literally, don't fit you. Like this fantastic (literally) little number doesn't; a little girl's multi-colored, multi-funky, plaid Espirit button down tank!


On a little girl, this is actually a full-size, back button top. But on me, it is a shrunken cropped button-front vest! Now howdya like that! With a black tank underneath and a denim skirt or pair of shorts, I mean, how cute. And not a soul will be the wiser that God did not intend it to be worn that way. The people who categorized it at the thrift store didn't even know, as I found it in the women's section, even though the tag says "Espirit kids".

Not to mention this sweet plaid action, with embroidered stripe detail.


It also gets points for reminding me of elementary school, when everyone had to have an Espirit book bag, or you were simply not cool. You know what I'm talking about. Those bags were the be all and end all school yard trend in the early 90's. Now, if Espirit were really smart, they would start making these again, throwback style, because everybody f-ing loves nostalgia. F-ing loves it, more than anything. They'd make a million dollars.

Beltane to Memorial Day Countdown: I hate Mondays

I don't even have a traditional work schedule (in fact, today is my day off), but because I love office humor/Garfield/the comic Cathy (ACK! Chocolate!) sooooo much*, I hate Mondays. Of course, this could also be due to the fact that I am so in touch with the energies of the universe that I am picking up on all the negative vibes being emitted from all the 9-5ers laboring away out there.

Since Mondays suck, I try to allow myself a "free pass" as much as possible on Mondays. What better way to enjoy a free pass than by doing some "lite" day drinking?

And what better place to do some light day drinking than the Joint**, home of the Monday all day $1.50 happy hour? Of course, $1.50 happy hour can quickly lapse into heavy day-into-night drinking, but for someone on a budget with a love of the BEST CHEESE CURDS IN THE CITY, the Joint is where it is at.

As the Joint is a biker bar, and I am entertaining the idea of heading over there as I write this, I present you with my daily tank top, as inspired by this fabulous establishment:



The 1989 Sturgis Tank Top.

Now, normally little ribbed tanks with lace trimming are ass, but the fact that this is a vintage piece celebrating the most badass biking celebration offsets that rule. Now, I can't pretend that I know a whole lot about biking culture, but I am willing to bet that Sturgis in 1989 was a bit more badass than today's annual event, where (from what I gathered from a print publication found in the hotel room we were staying at en route to Portland a couple years ago***) the festival has become a bit of a stomping ground for middle-agers bent on pretending that they still are/ever were actual badasses.

The thing about this top is that, despite its awesomeness, wearing such a declaration of biking culture is not a task to be taken lightly. As I am not a biker, I don't want to be that poser who shows up at the Joint wearing it. Conversely, wearing a Sturgis top anywhere is apparently an invitation to old biker dudes to strike up a conversation with you, so it helps to have a few drinks in you.

Such is the dilemma I face with the Sturgis tank. Regardless, I greatly admire this top and can only imagine the sorts of adventures it has the potential to get me in.


*NOT.
**I just came across a description of the Joint that called it "a sunny place for shady people."
***Note: if you are moving your brother across the country, take note of when the largest motorcycle festival is happening if you are planning on spending the night in South Dakota. Of course, if you don't, you may have the pleasure of engaging in conversation with Hells Angels wearing brass knuckles while they fill up their tanks and try to shove boxes of condoms into their packs.****
****True story.

BELTANE to MEMORIAL DAY countdown: Saucy Hemlines

My next TOP TANK TOP earned one of the few coveted spots on the unofficial short list of Top Summer Pieces Thrifted During the Winter Months that I Can’t Wait to be Able to Wear. In the company of other tanks, however, it gets bumped up a little higher. This was determined by mathematically subtracting the value of a top position on my “Top Summer Pieces…” list from the square root of the value of the cumulative “TOP TANK TOP” list, resulting in this white crinkle tent-tunic/dress/tank rolling in at a respectable #9.


The reason that I am so jazzed about this tank is its versatility, which is suggested by how cross-categorical it is, as denoted by all the slashes utilized in describing it. It is versatile because you can call how you want to play it, and you can play it all kinds of ways. On a short girl (not I), it could be worn as a mini dress. On myself, it almost works as a mini dress, except that the surreptitiously shortens at a very crucial point, making it quite indecent. I wore this one time already, in TX where it is already very much summer, with short shorts. It produces quite the interesting illusion, as the shorts were nearly totally invisible, save for where the hem raises. Let's just say, I noticed people noticing, or maybe it was more like wondering. I am all for perceived indecency, it can only be a bonus. It would also be great as a beach cover-up, where perceived indecency is totally socially acceptable. Worn with pants, it is even work appropriate.