One of the strangest thing about my job is seeing how the youth dress. This is strange for many reasons—it makes me feel even more self-conscious/lame for how I dressed as a teen; it makes me want to squeeze the dorky ones and tell them it will be "alright"; it makes me want to inform the annoying ones that peaking in high school sucks; and finally, it proves how successful NYLON has been at marketing the 90's to people who were actually born in that decade. I've actually seen multitudes (multitudes!) of young girls with the whole side of the head bang sweep thing that I tried so hard to do way back in 1996 (my results paled in comparison to today's sweeping bang wearers).
So, apparently 90's are back, and have been for about two years now. In these dark times, who can we look to for our 90's inspiration? For once, it is not Stevie Nicks. And I am not going to be all snooze-tastic and steal the New York Times assertion that the 90's icon one must copy is Elaine from Seinfeld (really? really? Her hair alone makes me want to fist a wall).
Oh no! The most iconiest of all 90's icons?!
Well, that would have to be Pauly Shore!
As I have posted on past personal blogs of mine, I became reacquainted with the Shore after a impromptu viewing of Son-in-Law, the film with the best make-over sequence of all time (second only to Encino Man, also staring Pauly Shore), which I purchased thrifting for 99¢ last spring. Son-in-Law threw me into a tailspin, as all I wanted to wear in warmer weather was baggy long sleeved tops that dipped low in the back, cut off jeans, boots with socks and medallion necklaces.
The other day, I thrifted a copy of Encino Man, which I maintain is Brendan Fraser's best film to date. Sean Austin's character is an official tool in this movie, but Pauly Shore's character (Stoney. Of course.) has the most blissful of 90's, rich California kid, hippie wardrobe you have ever seen.
So, inspired by this fashion icon, I started sorting through my wardrobe for the best of my thrifted looks that Pauly would approve of.
The tie dye jumpsuit. I know I just posted this, but it is quintessential Shore, so I had to put it up again. In doing this post, it has also come to my attention that I do not own nearly enough scarves and/or tie dyed pieces to truly channel the Shore. WISHLIST!
An acid-washed jean jacket would do in colder climates.
If he ever came to the midwest, Pauly Shore would totally wear this cut-off cropped football top to prove his manliness, just like the way he did when he visited North Dakota in Son-in-Law (the Shore digs crop tops).
One of my favorite things to do in the thrifted denim department is to make cutoffs out of jeans that are ill fitting. Calvin Klein's are exceptionally good for this, because I typically hate the way their legs fit but love the nostalgic feel of the label on the butt. Not exactly "cheek chillers," but you know that Pauly loves him some cut offs (almost as much as crop tops)!
As previously mentioned, Son-in-Law showcases one of the most amazing fashion montage makeovers in film history. Crawl (P.S.'s character in the film) turns little farmer girl Becca into a bonified California babe (though I maintain that her gross blond dye job almost ruins the whole thing. Almost.) by making her ditch her peasant girl blouses and modest skirts for teeny tiny dresses and rollerblades. After examining my own thrifted wardrobe, I found a few pieces that I am pretty sure would give Pauly a semi.*
Black lace body suit with a french cut. I mean, really.
Tiny, black and red, possible hooker dress that I dug up at the Dig'n'Save in Madison. Of course he would also dig this. How could you not?
Tiny floral dress with sexy little tie swoop thing. This would be excellent for going on dates to the mall to have dinner at the food court and later do some necking in the movie theater.
My velvet, floral minidress as inspired by Portlandia (again, very 90s).
Little polka dot Limited dress (you can't get much more 90's than the Limited).
Or can you? With this teal denim Guess pencil skirt you sure can!
Stonewashed Bongo wear!? Believe it!
And finally, I present you with a very fancy pair of floral shorts. I actually resold these at work last summer. I wish I could tell you I saw who bought them because I am willing to put my money on someone with much better side sweeping bangs than I ever accomplished.
*Gross. Sorry, that was really gross. But it is also a hilarious joke from Son-in-law so I had to reference it.